And tonight only left an empty tank with most of the water being drained out when I was on my way home.  I guess this was good-bye with Marshmallow.  Hopefully he survived.  I just thought of another name for him - "Red bean bun" ("Dou Sha Bao").  Cos' I dunno how to translate "Marshmallow" in Mandarin when I was telling my mum about him.  Hence another name sparkled on the spot.  He does have a very cute body though.

My friend left me a sweet thought behind this gift yesterday before she went back to her studies in Australia.  And she reminded me to bring it with me all the time.  Leaving like a Cinderella departure time, proof she was gone.  Away too was her padi chilli spicy spirit full of life I admired.

I dunno about you but these are lives.  I dunno whether one has to be human to be truly valued and taken seriously.  I felt that the fishes are struggling.  "Marshmallow" stayed on the bed a lot.  Not knowing what else I could do, I ended up calling the S.P.C.A for help, at least to find out the truth.  I seriously dunno whether they covered fishes, but they had stressed that they would help animals in distress. 

Friends who were so troubled earlier and pouring to me their problems were sadly now in their own world.  Maybe that was why when my friend commented, "Why does it take so long?" made me mad.  And she had to repeat twice.  I was very surprised by my over-reaction.  I started to understand why some people were very touched by small gestures they received and why some people had become so cold and distanced.  I believe nobody was born that way. 

After my unsuccessful attempts to paint myself a comforting imagination, I put on my best attire and accessories instead and head back to work.  Not forgetting to put on a cap to shield out the glaring sun from my eyes.

And again I passed by the fish tank outside the restaurant on my way to work.  I spotted that "seemed to be struck in between the filter like gadget fish o that time" (Gosh what a long name for this fellow.  Hmmm...maybe I should name him as "The fish that reminded me of yummy marshmallow".  Ok ok still too long.  I do like the name of "Mr. Misunderstood".  Even though I seriously dunno whether the fish is male or female.  But it sounded great.  And not Miss Misunderstood if you know what I meant.)  And yes I met Mr. Misunderstood again, but this time resting beneath the tank on the floor sleeping with his tail that looked ‘spoilt' from curling too much onto the filter like gadget previously.  And he was companied by a yellow fish, which was looking back at me in a very peculiar way.  Sweet.  I walked on & discovered that the filter like gadget had been removed. 

Two people I cared couldn't see the pictures I shown them before.

Managed to catch "Brokeback Mountain" but felt like a third party instead.

Missed some calls home & out.  And heard a retiring voice when I replied.

A catch up with some friends somehow disturbed me end of the day after the laughs & deserts.  Divided the cob webs aside, two incidents came up instantly.  After my shower & thinking it over, I went to look up the meaning of a word I wasn't too clear that I heard so often.  Then I start to realize why it stinks.

Got scolded for staying up late so often.

Today I got the taste of being a sale assistant for an hour at my Aunt's work place.  She is working at a mobile store at the moment that sells lots of beautiful accessories.  It's quite interesting cos' suddenly I was also imagining how would it be like if that was my business instead.  I remember someone was asking me to sell slippers together with him last time.  Who knows, maybe one day I might quit my job & want to do that for a living instead.  It was interesting being asked for assistance by the customers.  To tell you the truth, with a store that's opened 360 degrees was quite scary, cos' you've to be very alert when there are many people looking at the items that were quite small for many.  End of the day what really suck was replying "I dunno." For not knowing much what I was helping to sell.  I had no clue what were those color stones on the rings sigh... 

I remember a newspaper comic I saw before about 2 people being interviewed for a sales assistant position.  They were asked to write the price for some clothes by the manager.  The 1^st man wrote $10 & placed the price tag nicely above the clothes display.  The 2^nd man made 2 mistakes while writing the price & did the same thing by placing the price tag nicely above the display.  In the end, the 2^nd man got the job.  Puzzled, the 1^st man looked at what the 2^nd man did.  He had 1^st wrote $20 & made a big cancellation line across.  Then he wrote $15 & made a big cancellation line across again.  Finally he left a clear sign of $10 in tact. 

Just want to mention this before I finished my multiple entries in a day. 

LADIES going to PUB or nightspots, please DON'T go ALONE.  A creepy scenario could be a man taking you by surprise from behind and trying to force some pills down your throats to knock you unconscious in the shortest time while surrounded by his accomplices to hide the act and chatting you up to reduce people's suspicion.

Caught on camera in the day... finally saw how it looked like.

Its mouth is like the parrot's beak.  It's body reminds me of yummy yam bun.  Also marshmallow...  I wouldn't know its species.  I'm sure it's only meant for viewing & not for consumption.

If you missed out the story, please refer to my 8th & 11th Feb 2006 entries.

I think I was still quite tempted to walk a dog.  I wondered how does it feel like.  Does the dog follow the pacing of your footsteps or do you follow he's?  If I read a book at the sofa, does it sits on my legs & company me quietly?  When I sleep, does it follow my late hours too without a grudge?  With my mum who likes cleanliness so much, the imagination became having to wash the dog's feet after his walk.  Maybe even a bath if she's serious about it.  Will he knows how to shun when my mum is cleaning the kitchen floor after cooking?  Will he be hurt when my elder sister screamed at it when he tried to be friendly cos' she is so scared of furry animals even a hamster?  Will my dad teased about eating him when he is sick?  Will he cried and get depressed when I had little time to company him due to my work? 

Recently I was reading a Chinese book called the "Footsteps of Yellow". It was a book that followed the whole recovery journey of a golden retriever named Yellow, who suffered Canine Hip Dysplasia due to bad gene.  It also became the 1^st successful Canine Total Hip Replacement Operation in Taiwan in year 2004.  There was this childlike quality in Yellow you will fall in love with, just by looking at his eyes.  His owner - Amy, wrote the book & it covered from how Yellow entered into their life as a pup then.  There was a generous serving of his pictures.  As the book mentioned Yellow was a dog with character.  He was not really attached to anyone when he was young.  Hence he didn't take up anyone's time much.  He would play with himself and occasionally came over to say ‘hi'.  He was contented so long there were people around.  An empty bottle could be his amusement for a straight half an hour.  There was this funny episode being mentioned about his growing up.  When he was young, he already knew the importance of finding his position & ranking in the family.  He cared about Amy's husband most, & ranked him first place, and taking 2nd place was himself, then 3^rd ranking went to Amy's son, & Amy was nevertheless last in place, despite she was the one who took care of him most.  Standing firm about his ranking, when Amy took him out for a walk initially, he would bite on the leash as though he was walking Amy instead.  He would walk ahead of her and ‘told' her left and right.  To Yellow, holding on to the leash meant that he was in control instead.  He followed a regular routine on his own.  Sometimes he would sleep for a while, play a bit.  Sometimes they tried to tease him, but he ignored them.  At times he would also watched television, or watched the fishes in the fish tank.  It was then the family discovered they had a very special dog.  Later on odd things started happening.  Yellow would suddenly slipped & fall while running around in the house.  When he was about 2 to 3 months old, he would fall like a lizard on smooth surfaces.  When he was 4 months old & out for his normal walk, people started commenting to Amy why he wagged his butt so much when he walked.  Amy started to take these happenings seriously, when she noticed his leg lifted abnormally outward when he went urine.  Eventually Yellow started showing fear of stepping down his feet.  When he was 5 months old, things started becoming worse.  He couldn't eat much and was reluctant to walk, ending up sleeping a lot.  His Canine Hip Dysplasia was starting to react.  I admire the family a lot for going through so much to help him to run again.  It didn't happen overnight.  Neither did it happen with only one's effort.  To them his freedom was priceless.  To them, Yellow was not just a dog.  Big operation like this cost about US $10,000 per operation in United States.  Doctors from United States were specially flown in to operate him in Taiwan due to their medical expertise and confidence. 

This is a meaningful book cos' Amy had take the efforts to explain the whole procedure & hoping dog owners who had similar problem could benefit from her case.  You can catch glimpses of Yellow on her website at http://www.dogchd.net/" title="http://www.dogchd.net/" target="_blank"http://www.dogchd.net/

More information about this medical condition could be found at

The University of Pennsylvania Hip Improvement Program at http://www.pennhip.org/" title="http://www.pennhip.org/" target="_blank"http://www.pennhip.org/

Orthopedic Foundation For Animals at http://www.offa.org/" title="http://www.offa.org/" target="_blank"http://www.offa.org/

VCA All-Care Animal Referral Center at http://www.acarc.com/" title="http://www.acarc.com/" target="_blank"http://www.acarc.com/

America Animal Clinic Enquiry Center in Taiwan (Chinese website) at http://www.famousvet.com/" title="http://www.famousvet.com/" target="_blank"http://www.famousvet.com/

I remember the magical moment when I had a pet & the amazement of a living creature in front of me.  How it responded to me too.  I have a friend who never believes me that budgies can respond to you.  To her they are only birds that don't show their emotion.  Animals have feelings don't they?  I think I'll carry on my imagination about my furry friends.  And try to walk somebody's dog if I've a chance.  But my small conditions were: it must not be a big, aggressive and an excited dog.  Not too small too, cos' I think I'll ended up refusing to let him walk & carrying him around instead.  Glad that I still have Mufan hahahah.....if you know who he is.  Drop me a line if you've a pet.  I'm a easy contented person.  Thank you!

My first taste of being a Chinese Emcee at my friend's wedding dinner last night was cherry.  I dunno whether there was such an expression.  But it certainly looked more than the word ‘happy'.  My friend - the bride's SOS came to light about 3 weeks ago when her original Chinese Emcee couldn't do it in the end, cos' I was only a back up plan.  Yesterday were faces & faces of people I didn't know.  I was glad to see a small handful of Primary & Secondary school old friends whom I didn't see for years.  It was strange to see how time had seasoned them inside out to be more grown up.  The moment you were up on the stage, even the lie that this was just a fan club gathering wouldn't work.  And holding the microphone & script cards became less steady cos' you just couldn't stop shaking.  But the kind words of a friend back at my head tingled that "it's alright to be imperfect, as long as the couple and their guests are happy, and they surely would J enjoy!"  So despite the small mistakes I made, I was able to keep my smile throughout & carry on hosting without haste.  My English host was calm & steady as well, so that helped too.  The wedding dinner was orderly & went well with a sweet touch of bubbles flying as the couple went on stage.  The home gift for the guests was a see-through red heart-shaped shower gel.  Someone left one behind on the table, so I ended up with two. 

p/s : Maybe I could consider part-time being a Chinese Emcee.

Another day ended whereby I remember the morning & the night but not the sight in between.  Ok maybe I should include the computer screen & the monitor, which couldn't play other channels except your work.  On my way walking towards the main road after work, a taxi driver which couldn't take me as a passenger due to the direction I was heading, was kind enough to offer me a free ride to the main road outside.  Cos' I had to walk a bit.  Then thanking him, I got off.  Another taxi was waiting for the traffic light to turn green in front of him, so I knocked on his window to catch the driver attention & he nodded.  So I got in & he commented why he didn't see me walking out earlier due to the same road out.  Trying to be funny, I told him this was a spooky phenomenon.  "Do you love your work?"  Was the question next that sparkled a conversation out from this taxi driver.  Driving taxi was not what he wanted to do but having to support his family of six he kept himself driving from morning until the wee hours at night.  He told me how he hoped his family could shower him some concern.  But he forgot his grouse whenever he remembered his wife & children laughing heartily while watching the variety programs at home.  He would forget his tiredness too.  He told me the greatest pain for him was a broken heart.  He described that it felt like a heart being dug out alive, & having it held in a hand still pounding and another hand was poking needle into it again & again. 

I remember the shadow I saw in my dream.  Like a face I couldn't get to see nor did it came into the room that I had waited impatiently.  Like the Day that will never understand how dark is the Night or the Night will never understand how bright is the Day.  But it was a small sparkle that I kept in my heart.  I dunno why everything turned gray when I heard the word fame as your goal.  At that instant, I couldn't see any colors.  But a deserted one way road and something heavy had fallen.

& leaving were just songs

I just want to sing along.

The songs had made me laugh.

They also made me cried.

A flame strike alive from a matchbox

found in a winter night

The clouds I hung up had flown

Then strangely the sky was raining colors of a song.

I watched them flooded the city

like a painting no one had done before.

It went on & on.

I opened my umbrella

& watched it quietly for it to stop.

Did they come from a rainbow that didn't form?

Soon the water rises

Forcing me to reach for greater heights.

One step after each step.

I found myself climbing.

Higher & higher.

One hurdle after another. 

I was running.

Then I saw the overall city in colors just when the sun rises.

In a moment or two of silence,

I started cleaning them with water

while it lay under the sun...

...fading

My early morning was greeted by the stars & the beautiful full moon in the navy blue sky.  The birds were also singing.  I caught a bird flying past a tree.  Can it see its way?  The stars looked dimmed, but 2 were in their brilliant light like jewels.  And I started wondering if 1 of them was for real.  A bundle of clouds ushered across the moon in a haste.  And the last bit of them looked like a big fat fish with its big tail chasing them.  Leaving behind was the full moon alone in the sky.  640am, a few students appeared walking.  A security guard was staring at the four small squares on the security screen at his desk outside.  A late 40s lady was sweeping outside the POSB bank with her red dust pan.  My footsteps were light and pacy.  I wondered what had kept me going.  4 hours of sleep were all I had last Sunday night at work & continued camp over the Monday & torched that Tuesday morning.  Finally we managed to finish our 1^st pilot episode offline & able to submit it to the station yesterday afternoon.  Even though we were 1 day late, but we made it & were happy to see the ‘child' we had created.  In the hours of rushing, I really felt like I was helping to deliver a baby in the room.  And the boss & the Producer were like popping by asking me whether the baby was a boy or a girl.  And I would announce that we were having twins!  We finally ran a final review after all the changes at around 430am. 

That morning I felt being held by an angel as I walked.  Light blue sky greeted me by the time I reached home.  I couldn't remember whether the moon was also there but I remember the beautiful sight I saw when I stopped & looked up.

Some nights later still...

My morning was power up lastly by Bowie's Let's Dance that ended in time when I reached the door to work.  I think my producer & I are picking up more confidence esp. after seeing my segment 2 edit today.  I think it's naturally an unsure stage to go through when you do the 1^st pilot episode.  Like a wood engraving, you want to engrave a woman statue but you are still not sure what will be the wardrobe & accessories.  Or whether there will be any animals engraving to go along beside.  If so, what should they be?  And the wood chosen for the engraving was good.  Time needs to be spent.  I think we are too tensed up to function with all these huge expectation inside lately.  Especially with early March being the broadcast date.  Today I told her with a reassuring "Going strong." sms.  And I really mean it.    

Details of the table cloth (reading from right to left were 2 Chinese characters meaning thanking God.)

The offerings on the altar facing the puppet stage.

The 4 famous Chinese fairies characters out of the 8.

 The lady behind for bringing the puppets to life.

The sun felt really nice this morning on my way to work. Light breeze swept by in the air and vehicles were few. Sunday felt great like this.
Pigeons resting under the shade. 

A little girl was very much in love with her 9 months old pup.

The sun touched the window in a quiet afternoon.

When I went downstairs for a tea break at work, I realized the water was not hot in my teacup. The fridge had no light. The phone had no dial tone. The lights were not working. One of the power switches had tripped. I pushed it back on, but it didn't hold for long and tripped again. It did the same thing thrice. I went back to work upstairs. The power was running in order there. Then when I break for dinner, I realized I couldn't open the door. The security door had to run on electricity. So I called for help immediately. If I had take a moment to think, it can be solved easily if I pushed back the power switch and opened the door before it tripped again. Then with a stone mind, the next question was whether I could get back in after I go out with the security tap card. Now if the power tripped back, there won't be any electricity. So the only way to open and close the door was the key & not the card. Problems were not valid in the first place.

Finally I was able to sit myself down in the coffee shop for dinner. Crossing my legs, I sent a chair flying past the floor & made a goal at the table across. Too stunned & amazed by the sight, I couldn't move & talk. And watched the couple surprised at their ‘prize' below their table. A coffee shop staff hurried over and put the chair back to my table.

Just two days ago, I accidentally broke my friend's rice cooker at his place. The latch broke and ended couldn't shut its door down. My friend asked me whether I wanted to eat rice, and I was really reluctant to tell him the truth that I was looking for soup. Am I losing my ‘C' level, and becoming another ‘C'? Gosh...Ok I learnt that what look alike may not serve the same purpose. I wish I was more ‘O'.

Today trying to hang on a job that seemed like a marathon race, I was crazily singing a song I made up on the spot. Good that there was no one in the company. It sounded more like a 70s song style but was a bit cheesy I had to admit. It went like this ...

"Sound of colors blazing through the night
I remember how it made me run.
Sound of colors ...sound of colors...colors
I missed the colors painted over the gray sky
Sound of colors..."

The sky was drizzling when I left for home tonight. Passing by a quiet pharmacy and closing stores, crossing the overhead bridge and back to the same old bus stop. The drizzle looked like snow falling under the streetlamp. A familiar voice pierced the air and my heart almost skipped a beat. But it was from a different face. I just closed my eyes. Wouldn't it be nice...

I had the pleasure of waiting for a bus today that I missed before my eyes.  In that precious 15 minutes of waiting I finally understood something. 

This is a metaphor I saw:

Bus 165 can take you to your destination.  But traveling so often, you get really tired of the scenery on the way.  You want to write ON the journey, but you really hate the scenery beside.  Maybe you can take other buses.  But you don't know which one will still take you to your destination.  Time is too precious to waste trying out the different routes.  Cos' the fact is writing is the top concern & it's not even ABOUT the bus journey you are taking.  You can hope to have more enjoyable scenery while you travel on it writing.  But if the scenery is any better, you may not be able to write after all.

Another 10 minutes of waiting for changing to the next bus to reach my work place, 2 characters came to greet me - Wan & Guan.  They told me their names & they are going to scene 3 next.  Came a double-deck bus and I headed straight to the second deck for the ‘dangerous' seat right in front for the best view.  But I got an even better view from my scene 2.