"What time?" I asked.

"Around evening." She replied confidently.

I told my elder sister who stayed home today cos' she was sick.  But she was not convinced and announced the sun was hanging out.

True to my mum's words, it really rained around evening.  My sister who missed the crows' announcement, asked me, "So were they crying outside the window?  But I thought they were bad omen that something deadly had happened."

"They didn't give us a home delivery service.  Only at a distance.  This happened before."  I replied lightly amused.

"How do you know mum?" she asked.

"Grandma told me so." she answered.

"How does she know? I went on next.

"She's so old already, sure she knows a lot."  My mum replied.

It was interesting to see my sister discovering something new today what she had missed usually working until night.  And I remember one of my favorite poems...

Rain Writing

Write the kanji (Chinese character) for rain

and when you look at it,

you feel like outside a window

rain is falling.

By Kobayashi Sota, first grade

Tonight I feel like sharing some poems written by Japanese elementary school children in this sweet book called "Festival In My Heart".  It was a book I bought some years ago and they touched my heart even till today for their innocence and purity.  Children see the very essence of things.

Cockroach

It's always naughty

and everyone

says they don't like it,

but a cockroach

really

wants to be

a butterfly.

A cockroach

really

is much sadder

than we think.

- By Minagawa Kaoru, kindergarten

Grandma's Wrinkles

My grandmother's face

is covered with wrinkles.

If you count on her forehead

there are twelve big ones.

I drew a picture

of grandma's face -

I only drew a few wrinkles,

little ones so grandma

was very happy

and laughed.  Then

there were more wrinkles than before,

but I didn't tell her so.

By Ishii Satoshi, kindergarten

In the Postbox

In the postbox, the letters are talking.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going here..."

and they show each other their backs.

"Oh, I see!"

they nod,

one by one asking everyone.

In the morning

They speak softly -"goodbye..."

and they close their eyes.

By Tashiro Maki, second grade

The above poems were translated by Bruno Navasky.  Good nite and dream sweet!

Nights ago, I had a dream.  I was on the rooftop of a high-rise building.  But I was leaning on the wall and carefully walking sideway inch by inch.  I was not afraid of death but I was afraid of height.  I saw kids about 5 years old running up to this bridge arch to other higher side of the building.  My heart was thumping hard for the fear of them accidentally falling down for their innocent minds.  But there was not even a single sense of danger in the air.  They were laughing & playing normally.  I kept picturing myself falling off and my heart kept doing this roller coaster ride down that sent a chill down my feet.  Again & again till I woke up...

Once I heard of a Buddha Painter said, how looking at beautiful things can help to soften a person's heart.  Hence these cute pictures of pandas surely melt you then.  At least I did.  Gosh SO CUTE!!!

"Can I go out and play today? Please..."

"Why put me in a basket again? I can't even stretch my legs now"

"Hmmm..are you done? This is boring.  Could you at least push the basket?"

"What are you doing behind my back? Wait...hello Mr...

"You smell so nice!  Be my baby!"

"Mama..."

"Com'on sing me a lullaby."

"Wow..so many look-a-like!!!"

"What the hell are they doing up there?"

"I'm so sleepy and tired..."

"Ok ok...one more photo-taking session. Cheese..."

I used to think people who make music are able to renew all their living cells each time they compose a song.  Seemed like a vampire.  Then I think about the people listening to these songs.  Are they able to renew their living cells the same way too?  Each time a new cell is born, another dies.  Is that why we cry when some songs hit the chord inside?

My friend once asked me, how am I able to be so optimistic all the times?  I didn't reply her that time, cos' I had never asked myself that question so I was not too sure what to answer.  But if you were to ask me the same question again, I would tell you one word.  Imagination.  Yes, would you have believed that?  Imagination can help you to stay optimistic.

It was a gift I practiced a lot and always feels thankful for.  I couldn't help but wonder the reason for God to create imagination.  Imagination is not just a door for you to escape the reality world.  And not just imaginary friends you created to company you to the cinema, when you could have make an effort to ask real people to go out with you.  A good example is "Life Is Beautiful", which strike a chord in me.  Guido Orefice uses his humor to protect his son from the terrifying reality in a Nazi death camp.  His humor is the use of imagination in a realistic way.

Looking many years back, I got very bad result for my O'Levels.  So bad that none of the choice of courses I selected wanted me.  When I discovered I wanted to do films and found out the requirement for the course, I decided to stake 1 more year to retake my O'Levels, rather than taking up courses I didn't like.  And so I went back to school to study, rather than being a private candidate.  School is the best option to go, cos' all the help & discipline I needed were there.   I didn't have my dad's support.  He was so sure I couldn't make it.  But I knew how important was that one year and how it could change my life forever.  I drawn up a strict routine to follow everyday and got all the 10 years series and study guides to study.  Being in my juniors' class, they were more light-hearted and playful.  Not that they were lazy or any along that line.  But being the so-called repeat student, I couldn't afford to play.  Being in the morning session, gave me lots of precious times to study in the afternoon.  Those strict study routines were tedious, dull and colorless.  Then I started to create more than 10 characters around me.  I made study a hip thing.  I was very influenced by America teenage dramas at that time.  When I helped my mum to do household chores, I imagined I was helping my mum running a café.  And there so many turn ups that I had to work faster.  Wiping the table, boiling water, drying plates etc etc.  And there was a sweet imaginary staff that was like a brother to me.  My house was split into different scenes and my life suddenly sprung to life like a drama series.  I was still hopeful to turn it into a screenplay someday.

Nevertheless I just want to share is that, when the going get tough and no one is around to cheer or help you, imagination can be another pretty workable option.  It's very easy to despair in life but I love to look for strength rather than being swallowed by weakness and self-pity.  Smile!  You'll have good days ahead!  Life is beautiful.  A pink spotty flying elephant awaits at your door or what do you want it to be... com'on say it.  You are the master of your own picture. 

Didn't sleep a wink last night.  My finale of episode 3 Online just ended this morning on beta tapes.  Birds were chirping at the early dawn around 6 plus.  Only crushed on bed in the afternoon 2 plus after my failed attempt to stay awake watching the recorded Academy Award that I missed on tape.  I think I was trying to catch up my life after all the craziness at work.  My mum still find it hard to understand that a 24 minutes program took us so long to complete.  She called me to my surprise immediately after the 1^st episode premiered on air 2 Sundays ago on the 5^th of March & the 1^st question or rather exclamation was, "What?  Such a short program took u guys so long to complete?!!"  She was angry that I was not coming home in the rush of deadline time to time.  I became a vampire only appearing at night but to sleep.  As the Chinese saying goes, "A minute of performance on stage it is but took 10 years to master it."  The pilot episode on Chinatown alone took close to 3 weeks to edit with 16 rushes tapes.

Artscape is a 4 episodes series on 4 main locations in Singapore - Chinatown, Kampong Glam, Little India & Joo Chiat.  I was involved in only 2 episodes.  Days & days of struggling like climbing a broken mountain.  We were burning ourselves to push the stories to its full potential.  Hope you could support the program.  It may not be the best program you ever watched, but surely stories told with lots of heart enclosed.  Thank you.

Program : Artscape

Episode : 3 (Little India)

Date on Air : This Sun 19/3/06

Time : 1pm

Channel : 8

Country : Singapore

Shophouses survived the times of urbanization. (Little India)

Roof of Sri Veerama Kalimmann Temple

Kathakali Dancer

Masjid Adbul Gafoor Mosque

Dusk Approaching

2^nd lapse of the ‘race', I feel like I am climbing mountain this time.  And my hands are losing their grips on the edges.  How I wish someone are there to pull me up...   Felt sick with overdose of banana chocolate today...yuck.