It exactly felt like discovering a rabbit I been talking for years was dead.  And people had to come up to me and tell me straight in my face, "I thought you had hints that it was dead and it was rotting bad."  No I didn't have a single clue.  I was too blinded by an idealistic impression.  I was too blinded by myself.  I should feel hurt and betrayed on the spot but it took an awful time for the news to sink in completely.  In my mind was echoing, "How could it be DEAD?" rather than "The Rabbit is dead!!"  Other flashback started coming in and filled up the missing spaces.  Like a nightmare I woke up and felt terribly so let down.  It hits me again and again.  I had given my heart and soul and they were all walked over and kicked around behind my back.  How long have you know me?  And earn yourself a ‘hypocrite' name.  I am a fool.  I was a fool in believing you.

The setting light and the tree caught my eyes in a time fleeing moment.  It was beautiful and I stood there looking at you...

The film - DREAMGIRLS bowled me over with its expressive & explosive lyrics and songs.  Originally a Broadway musical hit that captured the hearts of many, the film adaptation only hits the big screen two decades later featuring stunning performances by Beyonce Knowles, Jennifer Hudson, Jamie Foxx, Anika Noni Rose and Eddie Murphy.  Dealing with very simple human emotions, the songs moved me deeply like no others.  .  To my surprise, I didn't expect a film genre like this could move me to tears.  I am at a loss for words. 

When it's hard to talk I just stopped.  And listen.

A friend of mine text me a Buddhist saying today - "If you fell ill, you either get better or you die.  Either way the pain will end. This applies to life too.  Things will either get better or worse, but when the time come, everything will end.  Nothing good or bad will be forever."

I listen.

"Could it be stomach flu?" my sister asked.

"No, stomach flu won't be that serious." The doctor replied.

I was diagnosed with ‘Food Poisoning' that morning.  We managed to get another set of medicine for my mum who had a record with them.  All the vomiting had left me bitterness in my mouth that I was eager to wash it down with Ribena.  The craving for it was so strong maybe was that I felt so thirsty and terrible.  My wish was granted but by the time I reached home, I vomited all out like a purple waterfall.  Lunch that day was plain white porridge with a teaspoon of Soya sauce.  Our house had run out of supply of pickled lettuce.  Appetite was so bad that I managed to force at least two mouthful of porridge down if I accumulated all the bit and pieces of rice and taking them into account.  My mum managed to force down less than half a bowl.  We were lying on our heads on the round dinning table like two pathetic beings.  My elder sister was the only one taking care of us.  The efforts went to waste with me vomiting out those precious mouthfuls as well.  My stomach was empty; very empty like a vacuum.  My appetite was gone.  It felt like endless days in bed but it was only Saturday afternoon.  My second aunt came and managed to get us two bottles of pickled lettuce and a box filled with small dose bottles of Chinese medicine.  I was advised to drink a dose to see if it works after failing to feel better from the medication.  Pouring it out was a tablespoon of dark brown liquid.  I washed it down with my eyes closed.  It tasted spicy and bitter.  But eventually it ended up in the toilet bowl that day.  I seriously was bowled over by my mum who insisted doing the laundry that day.  Clothes don't go into the washing machine just like a simple chore.  For her, she always scrubbed my dad's uniforms and God knows what else, before 'feeding' the washing machine like the last thing to do. 

Sunday painfully came silently.  My mum seemed to feel better.  She decided to take over and cook porridge and a meal for my dad.  The worst was yet to come.  My elder sister was suddenly vomiting that afternoon in the toilet after failing to eat her lunch.  I was shocked and announced like a headline to my mum that sister got it too! The disease was spreading!  It this was so, then my dad was the starter since he has fallen ill a week ago but he only had diarrhea then.  Doctor had diagnosed him with eating wrong stuff.  That night, my sister suffered from the vomiting and diarrhea cycle, and I was fortunate to have the latter only.  Dad couldn't concentrate driving his taxi and came home early those few nights to a house of three sick pathetic looking beings. 

Monday morning came; my dad drove my sister and I to another clinic.  This time round, the doctor diagnosed us the possibility of having food poisoning or stomach flu.  Both were contagious.  I realized it was a misconception to think that food poisoning only occurred eating the same contaminated food and having the symptoms at the same time.  It could also occurred if one had food poisoning and let's say didn't washed the cup or utensils.  The next person who used the cup or utensils, could get the food poisoning as well.  With the medication, we did feel better.  However my mum who had been so busy with the cooking the previous day, missed her medication and was sick again that night.  This time round, her stomach was rejecting all the pills including anti-vomit pill!  We could only watched helplessly with my mum rejecting to go to the hospital A&E that night.  She did promised to go and see a doctor the next morning, but she failed her promise.  Thankfully her body was taking in the medication and slowly recovered.  My sister after three days MC finally made it back to her job.  As for me, I was the last in line of recovery with complication of bloated stomach and heatiness from the result of dehydration after those vomiting and diarrhea runs.  Although the whole episode was a nightmare, it was nice to have one another to depend on when we were ill.  Mum even commented that it was good to have children.  At least she was being taken care too when she was sick.  Sigh...it was kind of sad to hear that.  Last night, mum was doing her usual nagging and scolding again in full strength.  I was relieved and convinced that she had recovered!