And yes God wants us to love one another but we cannot force another party to love us or blame ourselves when it couldn't happened.  It is idealism just like saying life should be fair.  But we all know life will never be fair.  Yet we could still seek to accomplish this idealism.  The last I heard of was we were the slaves of God & we were accountable to answer our lives to him?!!!

I do not recognise the God they told me about.

I believe in freewill.  I believe God is kind & gentle.  God will not force me to do what I don't want to do.  He or she is one who can sit with me for a coffee & tells me what happens in his/her garden like a friend.  The God I believe will neither judge nor contempt me cos' I'm given freewill to lead my life & be responsible for myself.  God only wants the best for us.  God never has the last words cos' God is still living & life is all about changes.

I wrote these just to say, end of the day no matter what or whom you believe in, you must be happy & your heart should be free.    

It was hard to contain the excitement that I thought I had lost time to time, to race & ‘fight' for the chance to play the trailer I was commissioned to do earlier that was accidentally forgotten to put in the playlist to air in the Horse Racing channel (just discovered today).  It was a compilation of the winners of the Singapore February featured races.  With the March coming to an end, the chance to air it had greatly diminished.  And tonight being the Singapore horse racing day, I was more than grateful to be able to play it even 1 time in a mere 1 minute flash before the start of the ‘live' program.  In the frenzy state of 6 minutes left before the Preview Program coming to an end & going into a string of trailers, I was still thinking whether I needed to transfer the trailer out to another tape for the playback & freeze the ending to transit smoothly to another tape playback.  Being calm & composed as usual, the 1^st Producer on duty simply asked me to show him the trailer to decide.  He jokingly asked if it was another's person's work, would I be equally anxious & concerned.  I wouldn't know for sure but I think I will definitely try my best.

And there I played my trailer ‘live' as though it was my first in front of the ‘live' audience & the viewers at home.  I am crazy but I am happy.  My ‘baby' was on air!  It was a simple but heart felt trailer that I love!  Tonight, going through this emotion made me think of another...

Just about a week ago, the 'past' me wrote this after finishing another winner playout of the Singapore Guineas race,

"Tonight I felt being moved by a moment of winning that was in my edit.  It was made up of very simple cuts of an opening intro freezes of "Singapore Guineas 29^th Feb 08" jockey winner who rode the winning horse - Onceuponatime.  The freezes slowly "zoom in" fade to black & fade up again to his winning profile.  Then it faded up to the race montage, whereby this hot favorite horse that night was right at the back of other riders even till hometurn.  Then the jockey kept pushing him & to the punters' delight, this horse surpassed one after another & finally fly straight to the finishing line.  It was an inspiring & beautiful race!  I was moved.  I was excited.

Perhaps I founded the ‘right' music, the ‘right' state of mind & a moment of silence at the right time."

- 04 Mar 08 1:14AM