It was half moon tonight.  I find myself humming to the popular childhood song "Little White Boat".  Not known to many, it was originally titled as "Half Moon" & was written & composed by a Korean before it was translated to Chinese & other languages.  Glancing up from the bus, the half moon had an added pair of wings due to the light flare that was caused by the glass.  It 'flew' away in the middle of the journey, & greeted me in its true earth form when I alighted the bus.  The sky was also companied by some pale distant stars, that were paled by the bright city lights, except for one in its bright, fiery glow. Yes I saw you.

The night was drowned in a crowd of intercrossing lengthy conversations that couldn't be subtitled in the coffeeshop.  The elderly were working hard serving the drinks & clearing & sorting the finished eaten plates. Even if they were still able & agile, it was a painful sight to behold for their age.  I found myself sitting in the smoking zone half way through my meal but was too lazy to move.  Someone was busking with a guitar in the street, but I couldn't see where the source was from.  All that painful feelings had gone.  I didn't confronted the source, but my feelings. A lot of things could happened in a span of 4 years.  For example, my grandpa used to stubbornly go to Malaysia on his own despite the anxiety & worry he caused to the family.  At his dear age of 90 now, his knees could barely walk him far below the HDB block.  Anger & pain that were assured & buried like a sleeping volcano, erupted out of the blue with a shout of "I care!"  Now I don't. Some bad feelings had to let go.

I still couldn't see a complete me.  Like a half moon, yet revolving to its full cycle.  Like a jigsaw puzzles scattered in the people around you, there is no complete picture even placed together.  Some people make you see a better you.  Some people make you want to be a better you.  Some people surprise you by discovering the unknown you.  Some people bring out the worst in you, making you fear is that really you.  Some people make you see a false you.  Some people make you see an empty you.  What contribute to one's maturity?  Does time make one a wiser man? How many more roads & paths does one has to walk to be a better person?  I wish I have the answers......  

 I heard a meaningful quote from a horror drama at work today (Chinese - English translated)

 "Spending time with the elderly, is like attending the children.  They want more love & concern.  The only difference between them is, the children will become stronger as time passed, but the elderly become weaker."

Time is 'abundant' to a kid for a future lies ahead, but time is 'lesser' for an elderly facing death possibility.  Be patience, be kind.

The last of the Lunar 7 month ended with the tick tock of midnight just couple of hours ago.  Mum said at the breakfast that our dearly departed relatives were making their way back.  I like to think that the deceased were really given a month to come back every Chinese Ghost Festival to visit their love ones.  Before I knew it, the ghost month festival had ended.  And we had our silent goodbyes.  I felt we were looked after during this time.

And this morning, I had a very peaceful dream, and it was so nice & warmth that I refused to get out of the bed. Dreamt of a person I haven't met...  It felt like a last 'mail' attention to me...

I failed to complete the task I wanted to complete during this period.  So now I am on my own & i will continue on.  I hope good things await.  After my much delayed archive & transferring, Dad finally has his computer & I hope he will make full use of it.  I still have some purchases to make & computer mouse ended top on my list as I wrote this. 

 I felt the need to mark this day. Silently i bid my goodbye, with the last of my empty promises.  Night is filled with the croaking toads after the rain.  Then they stopped.  My mind still went on croaking low low low.  Then they came back on again......

Saw my favorite Chef Eric in tears today.  Although that was on the LCD screen, but he continued to impress me.  Buzzing Cashier is a reality TV show where the hosts help stall owners to save their poor food business through engaging different cuisine chefs needed for that particular business & to give training to the stall owners.  There were many memorable & at times really tedious characters, & not to mention why some really deserved to be scolded in the kitchen harshly by the chefs some times.  Chef Eric caught my eyes most among the others.  For one he was really really loud.  He is really powerfully noticeable in the kitchen especially when one made a terrible mistake.  Just when one thought he is a fierce character, watch the program on, you will soon realize his outrageous humor & it's hard to ignore his dimple when he laughs.  Today I saw a man who tears & expressed himself openly in front of the TV without a single embarrassment, yet still looked so man & that really charmed me in awe despite his age.  (He looks about in his 40s.)  My friend still teased me whether he is married.  Of course he IS!  Story for the week after next (14th Sept)was:

A mother was badly burnt by a burning hot pot at work, which fell & boiled injuries down from her thighs onwards, forcing her to quit her stall.

A father's leg was amputated due to diabetics & couldn't tend the stall too.

A son in his 20s, simply quit his job & took over his parents' dessert stall & piling debts.  Sincerity tears his eyes to take up the TV challenge, to save their stall.  However, he suddenly fell sick & has to be hospitalized for 2 weeks.  So the mother has to take over the show despite her painful injuries & learnt from Chef Eric, so that she could teach her son when he is discharged.  The moments moved Eric; he was reminded of his mother...

There were many unforgettable & moving characters for the show.  This coming Monday (7th Sept), you shall witness a mother who took over the Nasi Lemak Stall (pandan leaves & coconut soaked rice with dishes) from her husband who was diagnoses with diabetics.  She only has 2 hours of sleep to prepare all those food needed at the stall.  Buzzing Cashier would help her to learn 2 new dishes to replace what she used to sell, so that she could have more time to sleep & take care of her family.  My heart went up to her for her enormous display of strength & endurance & still able to keep her smiling face.  That made me cried.  Host Chuan Yifeng was able to make her break down in tears by asking whether she disguised her emotion with her smile.  She told her to let go & cry whenever she is tired & pained.  When her husband is asked whether he would marry her again in his next life.  He replied, "No."  The reason was simply he didn't want her to suffer with him again.  Yet she replied she would marry him again.  I was deeply saddened by her 10 years son who failed to understand his mother & couldn't give her a needy hand.  I hope after the program is aired, he will change & play a thoughtful & supportive role to his family.

Buzzing Cashier Season 2

Every Monday 8pm , Sept 2009

CH 8

Singapore